Think back. Remember a time in the past when you were really “in the flow” of life, when you felt great and had success coming your way–all kinds of success: a great relationship, excelling at work, winning a competition, or just feeling good about “you,” without stress and anxiety.

 All of us have had times when things just seemed to be working out right for us, and if you think about these times, you can see that you were in a certain state of mind.  You were doing things in a particular way, that may be quite different from your “norm” today. Especially if your “norm” today is anxiety.

If you’ve been going through anxiety or fear/stress-based problems lately, the chances are you have not always had these problems. There was certainly a time when you seemed ready to take on the world, with very little fear or anxiety. So consider, what were you doing differently then that you are not doing now?

One way to get back into that mental state, is to analyze how you felt and what you did back then, and then, dwell on those feelings–meditate on it, and let those feeling from your past “infect” your current state on mind. The more you can recreate those feelings and state of mind from the past, the more they will become a part of who you are today.

And don’t overlook the little things! Life is all about the details, so surround yourself with things that remind you of that time: the music, the sights and sounds, the books, or even TV shows that “take you back” to that time.

You can re-create your past peace of mind and happiness by immersing yourself in the same things you did back then. Take a few minutes to visually re-create those feelings internally, and then…make that state of mind “real” again, but doing many of the same things you used to.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from coaching people it’s this: we can create our world almost anyway we want. Our current circumstances are NOT the deciding factor–it’s how we choose the respond to them.

Who says you can’t go back to the way things were? You can re-create those feelings and begin taking the same actions whatever you decide to. This will result in the same results you were getting back then. Same actions = same results.

Take Care,
Jon

Jon Mercer, MA
Personal Development Coach
http://www.attractanything.com/
http://www.easycalm.com/
http://www.ultraconfidence.com/
Managing Director, Youniverse LLC

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Who is responsible for our troubles in life? It might sound harsh, but to a very great extent, we are.

Learning to accept responsibility for our circumstances (without blame or judgement) is an important part of changing those circumstances.

It is almost second nature for most of us to look outside ourselves when things go wrong. And usually that means finding someone or something else to blame — but this overlooks one really critical fact:

While it is true that your environment effects you, it is equally true that you can (and do) effect your environment. This power to change, to create a different reality than existed 10 seconds ago is something we often take for granted, but it holds enormous power.

For example, if you really wanted to, you could get up right now and go call someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time; or start singing some ridiculous childrens song (”I love you–you love me…”); or go draw a smiley face on your bathroom mirror with shaving cream.

You could do any of these things or a zillion others in the next 120 seconds, and in doing so you would have created a situation and a feeling that did not exist a few minutes ago. You have this incredible power to create change in your actions, perceptions and beliefs at the drop of a hat! All humans do–it’s something we are really good at.

But when it comes to dealing with troubles, sometimes we forget how easily change comes to us. We forget we are the most adaptable creatures that have ever lived; and not only are we made for change, we actually thrive on it.

Many people have a habit of telling themselves “I can’t.” That’s their “story,” and they’re sticking to it. It’s a story in which we become a “victim” of the world around us, not creators of it (which is what we actually are). But this amazing power to change that we we’re born with makes it easy to develop a new story. And that’s what changing your life is all about: telling yourself a “new story.”

You can begin with your story about you–who you are? A coaching client recently told me she would be dismayed if anyone talked to her the way she talked to herself. Realizing this fact was a big step in the right direction. Taking responsibility for the “story” you tell yourself is always a step toward improving you life.

Do you “see” yourself” as the person you want to be? If not, why not? Are you waiting for some magic day, when all the elements are in place, and you are doing exactly the right things, and then…you’ll see yourself as pretty cool? That’s just doing things backwards. You cannot reasonably expect to do something you can’t “see” yourself doing.

Likewise, you cannot reasonably expect to “be” someone that you cannot “see” yourself being. Taking responsibilty for your life means being actively involved in creating it, not just passively reacting to whatever may come your way.

Get some support if you need it, and start from where you are right now. Accept responsibility for your circumstances, and then take action to re-create them. No one else can do this–only you.

Take care,

Jon Mercer, MA
www.easycalm.com

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I used to almost enjoy dentist appointments. Weird, huh? It helped that I had a great dentist (I say “had” because sadly, he moved away earlier this year). Lately though, I’ve been struggling to keep a positive attitude about my dental visits.

To begin with, I’ve had two root-canal procedures in the past year; the most recent had complications that caused an ”ongoing discomfort situation,” which is evidently dentist-speak for chronic pain.  To pile on a bit more fun :-)  the first root canal brought on an annoying case of TMJ, which is a problem with the jaw joint that causes ringing in the ears, face-aches and a host of other weird and annoying symptoms.

And as much as I ramble on and on about keeping a positive mental attitude (my partner Liz is a saint for putting up with it), I must admit, I’ve had more days than usual lately when this proved tough to do.

I’m not sure what the actual point of this post is,  so forgive me if I ramble a bit. I think maybe it’s about persistence in the face of the little hardships life throws our way now and then. Or maybe it’s about understanding that we all deal with these ups and downs, no matter how positive our outlook may be, and how dedicated we are to walking on the sunny side of the street.

 But either way, one thing is clear: I am absolutely convinced that my recent distress would have been much worse had I not tried my best to maintain a positive attitude, even when it was hard to do, and even when I failed.

The simple act of just trying to stay positively focused is important, and it does help, even if you’re struggling, and even if you fall off the path completely now and then. Tomorrow is always a new day–and we only have to get up and try again. I know it’s a cliche, but that doesn’t make it any less true: it is only by quitting that we ever really fail. As long as you don’t give up, you’re still in the game.

As for me, I’ve already decided the outcome: final score,  Jon: 1, Root Canal: 0.

Game over.

Wishing You Peace,

Jon Mercer, MA
www.easycalm.com 

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