First, I must apologize for letting an entire month go by without updating the blog here.  I have been very busy with clients and a few new projects, and the next thing I knew it was Thanksgiving holidays… you know how it goes. But I want to wish everyone a belated happy Thanksgiving and I hope everyone will have a wonderful, and peaceful, holiday season this year. 

Now, even as I write this, I am well aware that many people find the holiday season to be stressful, and anxiety sufferers will often see an increase in their symptoms or panic attacks during this time of year. But the holidays do not have to be “the most anxious time of the year.”  There are things you can do to minimize the amount of holiday (and family-related) stress this year. In this post I’ll mention three of the most useful tips for making it through the holidays without having a meltdown. 

Tip 1. Set your limits early: unfortunately, the majority of people feel a certain amount of stress dealing with their families during the holiday season.  If things are all rosy and peaceful within your family, just ignore this tip and count yourself very lucky. But for the rest of us, we can often minimize the stress by limiting our holiday visit to begin with.

Think about it this way, you can certainly handle the stress of a family holiday dinner for a few hours — but if you put yourself in this position for a few days you might find your anxiety increases exponentially.  Save yourself the stress, and make it a short holiday visit this year.   After all, no one benefits by you visiting for one week and becoming stressed out and anxious after the second or third day. Put your own needs first; you’ll feel better, and your family will also benefit from this. Remember, a short happy visit is better than a longer stressful visit. 

Tip 2. Remember Gratitude: I know I go on a lot about the importance of gratitude, and how it subtly changes our mind set from anxiety to peace and acceptance, but I must mention it again here.  The more you concentrate on things you are grateful for, the less space you have available in your mind for worry or discontent (the seeds of anxiety). Personally, I make a gratitude list everyday.  I don’t always write it down, but sometimes just make it in my head while I’m driving or waiting somewhere.  During the holidays, I especially recommend making gratitude lists (several of them) everyday.  It will really take the edge off of the holiday anxiety and keep you focused on what is right, and what is good in your life. 

Tip 3. Don’t compete: often, when families get together there is a sense of competition among siblings or even with parents and children.  This competitive attitude very often comes out during the holidays, causing lots of friction, discontent, anxiety and even depression among family members. My biggest tip for you this holiday season is to REFUSE to compete.  Just do not play that game.  Allow other family members to say or think, anything they like about you or anyone else, but do not attempt to “fight fire with fire” by giving them back the same competitive attitude.   

Kill them with kindness, and ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to compete. 

Finally, it is my fondest wish for you that you have a great holiday, with a minimum of friction or stress, and emerge in the new year feeling stronger and more empowered than ever! All the best,

Jon

Jon Mercer, MA
Personal Development Coach
Stop Anxiety and Panic
Managing Director, Youniverse LLC 

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