What’s On Your Radar?

I recently read “The Four-Hour Work Week,” by Tim Ferris. It’s a good read, and full of tips how to better manage your time. One point that Ferris makes many times in the book is the need to strictly limit the amount (and type) of information you allow “on your radar” in your day-to-day life. He calls this the “low-information diet,” and it’s great to improve your efficiency, saving you both time and money.

But as I read the book, I realized that I’ve already been doing this for quite a few years for a very different reason.  A little over 3 years ago I began strictly limiting the info I was exposed to: TV, books,  conversations, etc, because I discovered the importance of  “not focusing on what you don’t want in your life.”

Even today, as a life coach I make it a point to not spend my days focusing on problems–mine or anyone else’s. The reasoning behind this is incredibly simple: What you “study” is what you get.

 Most of us are bombarded with information on a daily basis–and most of it is either unimportant, or unactionable. This information glut is at the root of many anxiety problems. And when it comes to information overload, there are two categories that are most likely to increase general anxiety, and should be avoided whenever possible:

1. Unactionable information
2. Unresolved conflict

Unactionable information is just what is says; information you cannot act on. The television news provides LOTS of this.For example, political upheaval on the other side of the planet is unfortunate, but in all likelihood, there is absolutely no action you can take on this information one way or the other.

 Unactionable info simply clutters our state of mind, and doesn’t add anything of value to our day.

Unresolved conflict is the other big problem.  Unresolved conflict is another word for “drama,” and many of us are (often unknowingly)  “addicted to drama.” When we “carry” around lots of unresolved conflict, we are practically guaranteed anxiety issues in our life. Tuning out the drama and going on the low-info diet can actually improve our physical health, as well as our state of mind.

 As someone who has used this technique a long time now, I guarantee it produces results. True, it does take time to change your old habits, but you can begin today–even right now: walk over to the TV and unplug it from the wall. Leave it unplugged a while, maybe even a week, and then notice how you feel.

You may just be surprised how quickly and effectively the low-information diet takes effect.

This low-info philosophy is discussed in much more detail in the The Easycalm Video Series, because it’s such a huge part of reorganizing your life to be free of panic attacks and anxiety. Check it out.

Until next time, be well,
Jon

Jon Mercer, MA
Personal Development Coach
http://www.easycalm.com/
http://www.attractanything.com/
http://www.cafepress.com/socialskills.81169853
Managing Director, Youniverse LLC

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Think back. Remember a time in the past when you were really “in the flow” of life, when you felt great and had success coming your way–all kinds of success: a great relationship, excelling at work, winning a competition, or just feeling good about “you,” without stress and anxiety.

 All of us have had times when things just seemed to be working out right for us, and if you think about these times, you can see that you were in a certain state of mind.  You were doing things in a particular way, that may be quite different from your “norm” today. Especially if your “norm” today is anxiety.

If you’ve been going through anxiety or fear/stress-based problems lately, the chances are you have not always had these problems. There was certainly a time when you seemed ready to take on the world, with very little fear or anxiety. So consider, what were you doing differently then that you are not doing now?

One way to get back into that mental state, is to analyze how you felt and what you did back then, and then, dwell on those feelings–meditate on it, and let those feeling from your past “infect” your current state on mind. The more you can recreate those feelings and state of mind from the past, the more they will become a part of who you are today.

And don’t overlook the little things! Life is all about the details, so surround yourself with things that remind you of that time: the music, the sights and sounds, the books, or even TV shows that “take you back” to that time.

You can re-create your past peace of mind and happiness by immersing yourself in the same things you did back then. Take a few minutes to visually re-create those feelings internally, and then…make that state of mind “real” again, but doing many of the same things you used to.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from coaching people it’s this: we can create our world almost anyway we want. Our current circumstances are NOT the deciding factor–it’s how we choose the respond to them.

Who says you can’t go back to the way things were? You can re-create those feelings and begin taking the same actions whatever you decide to. This will result in the same results you were getting back then. Same actions = same results.

Take Care,
Jon

Jon Mercer, MA
Personal Development Coach
http://www.attractanything.com/
http://www.easycalm.com/
http://www.ultraconfidence.com/
Managing Director, Youniverse LLC

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 Just a reminder today: when you are working on overcoming a problem (anxiety/panic attacks for example), it’s important not too become too obsessive about it. And just like any other “work” you do, you sometimes need a day off.

Take a day now and then without working on yourself in any way–just “be.” You’ll make far more progress on the days you DO work, if you have a break from it sometimes–and for at least 24 hours (no cheating!).

As in all things, too much can worse than not enough. So take a day off and just go with the flow–you deserve it!

Enjoy a cold one (or whatever works for you),
Jon

Jon Mercer, MA
www.easycalm.com

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 Panic attacks sometimes have an obvious cause. They can be a reaction to a very stressful situation, like driving in rush-hour traffic, or arguing with a family member. But other times, panic attacks can appear to come out of ”thin air.” 

Talk about confusing! You could be minding your own business, going about your life when…WHAM!

When panic strikes, it’s all too easy to get caught up in trying to figure out what caused to attack in the first place. But actually, this is probably the least productive thing you can do. Why? Panic attacks themselves are not the real problem, but only a symptom of the real problem.

I’ve coached enough panic attack sufferers to know that panic and anxiety attacks don’t happen “in a vacuum.” Whenever someone is dealing with these problems, my mind immediately turns to, “what else is going on in your life?” Because even though panic attacks may appear to come out of nowhere, they are always a symptom of a larger issue in your life.

Panic and anxiety represent an imbalance in your life, and very often this imbalance is based on unreleased anger and/or resentment. Sometimes the anger is directed at a family member or spouse, but just as often, the anger is actually directed inward.

 I recently coached someone who reminded me how widespread this problem is (and if they read this, I hope they’ll forgive me using this example). Anger directed inward (on the “self”) causes all sorts of life-problems: depression, generalized anxiety, panic attacks, relationship problems, and many others.

Anger and resentment turned inward can be devastating, robbing us of initiative, healthy self esteem and acceptance. None of us can afford to go through life that way–it extracts a  great toll on both body and mind.

It’s not difficult to find out how you really feel about yourself. Just ask this question: “What reason do I have to feel hateful or resentful toward myself?” If any answer comes to mind…you’ve got some work to do.

“Admit It And Forget It”

To moved past this anger and resentment, you will need to resolve the conflict. If there is anything you have done in the past that is “haunting” you, apologize to yourself for it, and then let it go. The past is gone, and it ain’t coming back (at least not anytime soon Make peace with yourself about past transgressions. If you were wrong, admit it and forget it.

Other times, you’re not angry because of anything you have done, but because you have (inadvertently) been “programmed” to be hyper-judgemental of yourself. And nine times out of ten, it’s because a parent has been over-judgemental and withheld acceptance. By establishing this pattern early in a child’s life, the parent practically sets up the child for self-hatred and failure.

If that sounds like a lousy thing to do to someone, I completely agree. But here’s the kicker: almost no parent does this on purpose. It’s extremely rare for a parent like this to even be aware of the damage they are doing. They’re not “evil,” they’re just not good parents, and there is a BIG difference.

I don’t mention any of this to “beat up” on parents. Most parents are good at the job–but not all. That’s simply a fact of life. When a child grows up in this kind of environment, they only have one recourse (but luckily it is a powerful one). They must give themselves the unconditional love and acceptance they want and deserve, and NOT waste any more time seeking these things from the parent (or anyone else for that matter).

What we’re talking about here is self-love (no, not the naughty kind–get your mind out of the gutter!). Real self-love and acceptance–NOT conceit, not arrogance or narcissism, but a healthy respect for both your strengths and weaknesses.

I recommend the following simple exercise: single out the one thing you consider to be your biggest weakness. Then make it a point to love that weakness as if it were a long, lost brother. This may not come easily at first, but you certainly CAN do it!

And when you can love your greatest weakness, even a little, you are well on your way to healthy self-respect and acceptance.

As you begin to make peace with yourself, those strange and annoying symptoms (like panic attacks) will become less and less a part of your life. As a side benefit, you will notice that the more you learn to love and accept yourself, the better your relationships with others will be. The reason why this is true is the subject for another article, but if you’re really keen to find out, just email me at jon@easycalm.com for more info.

Take care,

Jon

Jon Mercer
Personal Development Coach
http://www.easycalm.com/
Managing Director, Youniverse LLC

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